Showing posts with label Publishing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Publishing. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Deleted Battle Chapter

Thought I'd post this deleted chapter.  I really enjoyed writing this chapter as it was going to be the first "real" battle in the book.  One hope I had was that by adding an action chapter like this early, it would help excite readers.  One thing that made me realize that isn't always the best approach was reading the first book in Jack Campbell's Lost Fleet series.  The first book, Dauntless opens with a fleet basically retreating from a battle and most of the book has them on the run.  The actual battle doesn't take place until the very end, but it was still one of the best books I've read.  Now, I did leave some action scenes/chapters, but removed this one for word count and the simple fact that it includes no main characters to the story.  It was more of a gratuitous battle scene.

However, the battle did set the stage for the main plot to begin unfolding.  My main character was working on a research project when word arrives that a "friendly" ship was destroyed stopping an enemy ship en route to Earth.  This information reached the research station with orders to mobilize personnel (including the main character) to another ship and prepare for the enemy. 

Again, I really enjoyed this chapter, but in order to reduce word count, I deleted it and just included a reference to it in the message sent by the

Remember, this was a first draft of the chapter, so it is probably a bit rough.  Hope you like it though.  It might give an idea for how I tried to set up battle scenes (wanted them to read with some credibility).

Enjoy and Write On.


Chapter X


Captain Terrance Curtis stepped onto the bridge for his watch shift on the Reliance.  The destroyer-class cruiser was said to be the fastest ever constructed by Ganeshans.  Despite the honor of being the commanding officer, Captain Curtis sighed at his orders.
“Investigate star system for signs of enemy presence,” summarized the orders.  The details that followed did not provide any useful information.
The most advance ship in the fleet chasing sensor ghosts from other systems along possible paths, he thought.  Unfortunately, he also saw the logic in the orders.  Reliance possessed the speed and maneuvering agility of smaller cruisers and more firepower than any ship in its class.  It was also the closest ship to the designated coordinates.
He walked to the main science station.  First Officer, report.
The officer on duty nodded to him responding telepathically, Not much to report, sir.  All scans of the sectors give no indication of a recent FTL conduit.
Captain Curtis’ eyes opened slightly wider.  Clarify what you mean by ‘recent.’
Of course, Captain.  We have picked up possible signs of FTL activity.  Analysis of the system scans show minor deviations in the orbital patterns of system debris consistent with a small FTL corridor.  Most likely a probe.  We estimate it occurred no more than sixty days ago.
Captain Curtis pulled the scan details on his PDU.  It had taken nearly two days to scan and analyze the details.  He had hoped to find nothing to justify leaving, but that would not happen now.
Comm officer, prepare an FTL compod.  Include the scan data, analysis, and the most likely courses based on known Ozaran territories, probable incoming and outgoing FTL conduit coordinates, and recent intelligence reports.
A young woman with short black hair turned and to the captain, Sir, the FTL conduits were in the same area.  Whatever came here didn’t continue.
Captain Curtis pulled up the data on the system where the sensor ghost leading to his orders was identified.  The improbable had happened.  Along the projected course, there was only one logical target for the Ozarans.  And they’re practically defenseless, he thought.  Whatever they would send, sooner or later it would come through this system.  The last system they would have to leave FTL for a final course adjustment.
He sat in the command chair and activated the ship wide comm.
“Attention all hands, this is the captain,” he began.  “We have confirmed a recent enemy presence and are in the process of informing Tactical Command.  We will continue to patrol this system at general alert status until reinforcements relieve us or we receive orders to leave.”
Captain, the compod is ready, Captain Curtis heard from the communication officer.
Captain Curtis knew it would take nearly thirty days for the compod to reach its destination and another thirty days to hear a reply.  If reinforcements would come, it could take days longer for them to arrive, assuming there were any ships close by.  Even when the first ship, or ships, arrive that would not mean Reliance would be relieved.  But for at least the next sixty days, they were the only line of defense.


For twenty days, Captain Curtis kept his crew occupied, running combat readiness and emergency drills.  For the last five days, the captain instituted a competition recommended by the first officer for each of the four watches.  Each watch crew was given the same exercises, and the crew that displayed the best readiness won.  The first officer’s watch crew won three times straight and Captain Curtis was determined to break that streak.
“This is the captain,” he boomed over the comm. “Prepare for drill zero two six.  We’ll start with precision firing tests and follow with simulated targets.  Remember, you’re the captain’s watch and as captain, I should not have to settle for second in anything on my ship.”  He eyed the bridge crew, not needing telepathy to feel their tensions.  “When we have won the next five competitions, I will personally buy each member of this watch a flask of Ozarian ale.”
Cheers erupted from the bridge.  Ozarian ale was a favorite of military personnel for years even though aside from having the look of Ozaran blood, there was no other connection to alien enemy.  Captain Curtis remembered the story that when the first barmaster introduced the non-alcoholic beverage, he marketed it under the idea of drinking the blood of an enemy after a victory.
Bribing the crew, Captain? The first officer mused.
A good captain knows how to motivate the crew,  Captain Curtis replied.  Besides, I heard you promised three days of R&R for each competition your watch wins a majority of the competitions.  You know, it’s my duty to approve, or deny such requests. 
The first officer smiled and walked off the bridge leaving Captain Curtis to his war game.
“Contact, port-side, twenty five degrees positive on the dorsal side,” called the tactical officer.
Captain Curtis head snapped in the direction of the tactical station.  The simulation he selected started with contacts to stern.  Tactical officer, confirm simulated or real contact.
“It’s real, sir.  The simulation hasn’t begun yet,” the tactical officer replied.  “FTL conduit forming twenty five light minutes from it.”
So whatever it is, it came through almost twenty five minutes ago, Captain Kerr thought.  “Battle stations!  Tactical, I want to know what we’re dealing with - size and number of vessels approaching.”
Intercept course Captain? the helmsman asked.
Captain Curtis shook his head. Hold position, helm.  I want to see if they turn to us or run.
I don’t understand.
If they run before we confirm their identity, it could mean they are a smaller vessel that could identify us first.  That could indicate they’ve made advancements in scanning technology.  We’ll send that information on.  Captain Curtis stared at the main viewer and the indicator highlighting the location of the FTL event horizon.  “Comm officer, prepare an FTL compod.  I want a live feed of all our transmissions, scans, and log entries sent to Tactical Command when we are within five light minutes of the incoming vessel.”
The next ten minutes passed in silence.  Then the tactical officer spoke up, “I have confirmation on the enemy ship’s course.  Ozaran medium cruiser is on course to through the system, zero point one five light and accelerating.  Based on current course, they’ll be able to go back to FTL in ten hours.  I’m projecting probable targets along their most likely FTL flight path.”
“I think we know the probable target,” Captain Curtis interrupted.  He knew the Reliance could easily overtake the enemy vessel, but did not want the Ozarans to know how easily.  “Set intercept course and accelerate to zero point two five light.”
We could intercept almost an hour sooner at zero point three light.  The helmsman sent his question telepathically because verbally questioning a superior’s orders was considered a violation of protocol. 
Captain Curtis knew everyone on the bridge had the same question, but only the helmsman deliberately shared it.  He’s opportunistic, but not pushy.  My kind of officer.  Captain Curtis tried to keep the thought sheltered from the helmsman’s telepathic mind.
“We’ll show the Ozarans what we can do soon enough.” This was the only response Captain Curtis shared.


Seven hours passed.  Ordinarily, the next watch crew would be ready to take over, but with only minutes until Reliance engaged the Ozaran vessel, the captain had ordered them to man the auxiliary stations.  Reliance was the faster, but the medium cruiser possessed greater firepower.
“Tactical, I want every scan detail you’ve done on that ship linked to my PDU immediately.”  The tactical officer complied without any reply.  Captain Curtis went through various details.  He confirmed the obvious weapon placements, seeing no blind spots to exploit.
“I want a readout of their power distribution.  Setup an overlay on the main viewer with real-time scans,”  Captain Curtis knew real-time was relative.  The scans would have the same light-speed based time delay, but by the time they reached engagement range, the delay would be negligible.
“Two minutes until we’re in weapons range, Captain,” the tactical officer announced.
“Helm, adjust course, ten degrees positive z-axis.  We’re close enough that if they drop mines I don’t want to run into them.”
“One minute until firing range.”
Color fluctuations through the Ozaran ship figure on the viewer caught the captain’s attention.  He knew what it meant even before the tactical officer spoke again.
“Enemy vessel is raising shields and powering weapons,” the tactical officer said. 
Captain Curtis could see from the power readings, not only did the Ozaran ship outgun Reliance, it had more powerful shields.  We have to hit them first and it has to count.
“Helm, take us to zero point three light, maximum acceleration.  Tactical, raise shields and ready weapons.”
“Yes sir,” both officers replied.
Seconds later the tactical officer called out, “Enemy ship is firing.”
Captain Curtis watched the tactical readout as the energy weapons and missiles passed behind Reliance, where the ship would have been had they not accelerated.  He programmed coordinates into his PDU and transferred them to the tactical station.  “Aft ventral thrusters, bring us perpendicular to the enemy vessel.  Target all forward weapons on these coordinates and set to fire.  Set helm to automatically reverse engines as soon as the first salvo of missiles launches.”
Thirty seconds later, the exchange of fire between warships began.  For a long five seconds the shields on both ships flared colorfully as they disbursed energy absorbed from incoming fire.  The power surges briefly distorted the display on Reliance’s main viewer.
“Damage report,” the Captain Curtis called.
“Forward shields down forty percent, FTL system damaged,” replied the crewman at the engineering station.
“Status of enemy vessel.”  He could see most of the information on the main viewer, but wanted confirmation of details.
“They’re shields are weakened and a minor hull breach near a dorsal weapons emplacement.  I’m also reading fluctuations in their power output,” replied the tactical officer.
Captain Curtis nodded.  The power fluctuations were significant.  He knew the Ozarans were trying to re-route power to firm up shields in the damaged section, but to do so would require drawing power away from other areas, leaving them more vulnerable.
“Helm, get us back into firing position for the same target.  Keep us on a parallel course.  Tactical, as soon as we’re in firing range, target their engines.”
“Yes sir,” replied both officers.
“Thirty seconds until weapon’s range,” the tactical officer announced.
Captain Curtis watched the enemy vessel larger on the main viewer.  He gripped the armrests on his command chair as Reliance began firing.  The Ozaran ship’s shields flared, disbursing the energy of the attack throughout.  The view looked like a series of rainbow waves rippling through the shields.  To the captain’s surprise, the light show stopped quickly.  It could only mean one thing.
“Helm, evasive full starboard!  Tactical drop mines!” he shouted.  Sudden explosions rocked Reliance hard enough to throw Captain Curtis from his chair and to the deck.  He heard commotion throughout the bridge as the crew scrambled to get back to their stations.
“Report!” he ordered.
The crewman at the engineering station was the first to reply.  “Bridge computer is inoperative, Captain.  We’re blind here.”
That was not a report Captain Curtis could accept.  He retrieved his PDU.  “Auxiliary control, this is the captain.  Bridge systems are down.  Report status.”
Moments later the familiar voice of the first officer replied.  “Main engines down to seventy percent capacity, ventral shields down, and we have multiple hull breeches.”
“What happened?”
“The Ozaran reversed engines as we fired on them and they hit us hard as they passed below.  Our automatic targeting system compensated enough to maintain eighty percent targeting efficiency.”
“What’s the status of the Ozaran vessel?”
“I’d have to say we gave as good as we got.  Their dorsal shields are down and their bow shields took severe damage when they collided with a couple of mines.”
“I’ll be down there in a minute.  Bring us around and protect our ventral side.  Have a medical crew report to the bridge to tend to wounded.”
“Yes sir.”
Captain Curtis ran from the bridge and into an elevator, keying the command to take him to the auxiliary control deck.  Two decks before reaching the destination he felt himself thrown into one of the elevator walls.  We’re hit again, he thought.  He quickly realized the elevator had stopped.  He tried the override, but it did not respond, so he opened the control panel and pulled the emergency release lever forcing the hatch to move slightly.  He continued pumping the lever until the hatch slid open enough for him to squeeze through.  Lights flickered in the corridor as he went to the emergency access conduit barely ten running paces away.  He slid the manually operated hatch aside and climbed into the conduit, using its ladder to climb down the last two decks.  Moments later, he arrived in the auxiliary control room.
“Report,” he called as the crew turned to face him.
“We’ve both made another pass on each other,” the first officer began.  “We were able to hit their unprotected dorsal section with particle cannons while keeping our ventral side protected.  We’re reading more power fluctuation in the Ozaran ship.  I think we’ve damaged their main power systems and they’re trying to re-route backup power.”
“They’re almost in weapon’s range, coming directly towards us,” another crewman announced.
Captain Curtis turned his attention to the viewer as the Ozaran ship closed.  “Helm, full reverse for fifteen seconds, then I want full forward acceleration and starboard thrusters.  Tactical, program firing solution with forward and starboard weapons.”
The crew complied with practiced efficiency.  Shields lashed again and the power surges again created distortions in the viewer.  Then a crewman turned to the captain and first officer.  Horror covering her face as she reported, “Sir, enemy vessel has fired their port maneuvering thrusters.  We’re on a collision course now!”
“Emergency evasive!  Sound collision alert!” the captain shouted.  He quickly realized his ship’s inertial dampeners had also sustained damage as Reliance’s helmsman complied with his orders.  The captain nearly lost his footing, stumbling forward a step before regaining his balance.  The emergency klaxon sounded throughout the ship as the two vessels closed. 
“Put the enemy vessel on the main viewer,” the first officer ordered.  Almost as soon as he finished speaking, the Ozaran vessel appeared. 
It was so close that the ship filled the viewer.  Seconds later, both ships began firing.  Captain Curtis imagined that, from the outside, the weapons fire between ships so close would look like a solid sheet of multicolored energy between them.
Again, Reliance lurched under the impact of the enemy weapons.  Captain Curtis realized that, at such close range, targeting efficiency was irrelevant.  There was almost no chance of missing. 
Power surges overloaded most of the displays and systems in the auxiliary control room.  He looked at the functioning displays at the tactical and engineering stations to see the impact points on his ship.  He realized that the only reason they could survive was that as the helmsman implemented the evasive maneuver, he has also fired maneuvering thrusters to keep the most heavily shielded section of Reliance facing the Ozarans.
The firing finally stopped and Captain Curtis made his way closer to the engineering station.  “Report.”
“It’s coming in slowly, sir” the engineer said.  “Main computer has taken damage, all shields are down, hull fractures across…”
Another series of explosions interrupted the engineer’s report.  His console exploded in front of him, leaving deep gashes and burns on the man’s face.  Captain Curtis, also cut and bleeding from flying debris, checked his crewman’s pulse.  He lowered his head and turned to survey the damage in the room.  A support beam had broken through the ceiling and killed the first officer.
“We’re hit again, Captain,” the tactical officer yelled.  “I don’t understand.  We were out of range and they couldn’t have maneuvered that fast…”
“They deployed more mines and we ran directly into them,” Captain Curtis replied looking at the wreckage.  If we sustained structural damage this deep in the ship, the damage must be vast.
He moved from one station to another trying to query the ship’s status and that of the Ozaran ship.  When none responded, he pulled his PDU and tried to link into the ship’s main computer.  It was slow, as the engineer said, but he began to retrieve some data.  Reliance had suffered catastrophic failure in its defense and drive systems.  The main power core was unstable.  All that was still functional was minimal sensors, emergency life support, and a couple of maneuvering thrusters.  Then he tried to access the sensors to determine the status of the Ozaran ship.  All he could retrieve was its general location, course, and speed.
“Helmsman, I need maneuvering thrusters.  Turn us seventy degrees to port.”
“Sir?”
“Just follow my orders,”  Captain Curtis said.  Then he went to the communication station, unsure if it worked, he tried a ship wide call.  “Damage control teams, focus on engines and weapons.  Emergency medical team to auxiliary control.”
Captain Curtis then turned and walked silently from the auxiliary control room.  He followed the corridor to a hatch with a sign that said “OBSERVATION LOUNGE.”  As he entered one of the few leisure rooms on Reliance, he sighed at the devastation.  The entire outer wall was made up of three clear plexi-panels allowing crew members to relax and watch the outside.  Metallic emergency panels now covered two of the panels.  Furniture and other items in the room were piled up against the emergency panel and the remaining plexi-panel as a result of the explosive decompression obviously suffered in the room.
A tear came to his eyes as he moved the debris from the storage compartments built into the far wall.  He finally retrieved a digital enhancing scope, typically used by crew members for stargazing.  But Captain Curtis had a much closer target to view through the scope.  He quickly found the Ozaran vessel and set the scope for maximum magnification.  The ship had split and the two major sections were adrift and tumbling.  He felt some satisfaction in the moments when the dorsal section faced Reliance showing hull breeches throughout.
“We gave better than we got,” he whispered.  He stared again and then frowned as he saw a projectile launch from the aft section of the Ozaran ship just before a series of explosions, beginning with the engines engulfed the severed section.  He knew immediately from the trajectory the projectile wasn’t a weapon. 
He set down the scope and pulled his PDU querying the computer for the status of their FTL compod.  He sighed in relief to see that it had entered FTL two minutes before the battle had begun.
Now we just have to hope that our compod reaches our reinforcements before theirs does.  He knew that was not the only concern.  The Ozarans, knowing their ship was destroyed would certainly send a larger force.  He hoped that, even though the compod launched from Reliance did not have data on the battle that his superiors would realize Reliance was lost and send a stronger force also.
An alert klaxon sounded again, followed by a garbled automated message.  “Alert, main power core overloading.  Failsafe is not responding.  All hands abandon ship.”
Captain Curtis did not leave the room.  He knew the escape pods could only store provisions and atmosphere for a few weeks and it would be at least two months before any allied ships arrived.  Any crewmembers who survived the explosion were almost certain to face slow death from starvation or oxygen deprivation.
He turned over a chair and pulled out his PDU.  He queried his personal files and looked though a family album.  Images of his wife and two adult daughters appeared.  He had hoped to make it home in time to see his youngest daughter graduate from her medical training.
 “I love you all,” he whispered continuing to change from image to image for the next seventy-two seconds.  Then Reliance exploded.


Sunday, December 12, 2010

Why Didn't Somebody Tell Me This About E-books

I've been talking here and on multiple forums about comparisons with E-books and paper books.  One thing that many have commented on is that there really isn't much money saved on e-books from best selling authors.  Well last week I broke down and bought an iPad.  First thing I did was download some free educational apps for my kindergarten son.  Mostly math.  But when he was willing to put it down, I downloaded a couple of e-reader programs (Kindle and the iPad reader).

I found something that I haven't heard anybody discussing about e-readers.  To me, this is where you can save money on the best sellers.  Nobody told me that you can download free parts of books.  From the books I've read, it's usually the first 30+ pages.  Just enough to let you know if you'll really be interested in the book.  If you like it, you buy the full book obviously. 

Naturally the cost saving is obvious.  If you don't like the book after the first 30 pages, you've lost nothing.  This also highlights the importance of hooking your reader early.  A general guideline I've heard and recommend when I critique is that the first chapter of any book has two functions.  Introduce the main character (or at least one) and set the direction for the plot. 

Another consideration is that, from what I've heard, if you go to Barnes and Noble with a Nook, you can read any e-book there for an hour.  If you go back frequently enough, you could probably read an entire book free.  Stop by, get a coffee (if they have a coffee store) and read your Nook.

Keep that in mind and

Write On.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Now What?

Now that I've begun submitting my query letter and story to literary agents, the question is what to do now?  Writer creativity cannot live on editing alone, so I need to decide on my next project.

The first, obvious, project to consider would be a sequel to Legacy Soldier:  Hybrids Deployed.  While this does follow my personal favorite genre - military science fiction, it also has some disadvantages.  First, military science fiction is not exactly a fast-growing area.  In fact, as many experts have pointed out in articles and blogs, it's on the decline.  A second issue is that if the goal is to get published, should I devote my time to continuing a series when the first hasn't been published?

Fortunately, I have many voices in my head.  But the problem is figuring out which has the most marketable idea.  I've had online discussions about this on a few forums, and typically get the same response - just write something.  To me, it's not that simple.  Most of the advice I've gotten has been purely from a writer's perspective and it seemed to be about continuing the art.  It doesn't matter what I write as long as I write.  But the ultimate goal is to publish, right?  While writing is an art form, publishing is a business. 

So what are the top choices?  I have an epic fantasy that I shelved for working on Legacy Soldier.  The fantasy is started, but being epic fantasy, it's very complicated - world building and plot details.  I might have more luck with something a bit less complicated.  That and, like military sci-fi, epic fantasy doesn't seem to be a growth market for rookies.

I have two voices in my head that are probably twins.  Seriously.  They're "pitching" an urban fantasy and urban science fiction murder/mystery story.  The fantasy protagonist is a college student who's mother is a criminal investigator/profiler.  The science fiction protagonist is the profiler.  Naturally the other detail is that the student has an ability that she must learn to use (been using it for years, but never understood it) helping her mother with an investigation.  The profiler in the science fiction version is introduced to a new technology that she must learn to fully utilize.  I don't have a name for the fantasy story, but the sci-fi version would be called TIA (an acronym, not a name).  One thing to consider here is that I could open this with the hint fiction I posted from the December blog chain.  It seemed well received.

The last one is, and I don't believe I came up with this one, an urban fantasy/alternate reality story that has the US in a civil war - humans vs. werewolves.  The wolves have basically taken over the east coast, so I call this one Beast Coast.

That's just a few ideas.  I wish I could work on them all concurrently, but my son would graduate from college by the time I finish anything!  Like most people, I have a regular job to pay the bills, a family, I take and teach Tae Kwon Do, and when time allows, I write.  Right now, there's so little free time with the holidays and work that I'm not likely to make much progress until February.  On the bright side, Feb 18 - 20 is the TrekTrax convention here in Atlanta and I'm already signed up for the writer's workshop.  Maybe I'll have a chance to field some of my concepts by the pros and get an idea of how to prioritize.

So, I'll dabble where I can and...


Write On

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Publishing E-book Advantage and an Interesting Twist

As a writer-in-progress, I find it helpful to network, in person and online, with other writers (published and unpublished).  We've shared critiques, celebrated new sales, and given each other (well, they've given me) valuable information about the publishing industry. 

One thing I've leared is that a big obstacle for new writers isn't getting published, it's getting sales numbers.  Don't get me wrong, getting published is no easy task, but the more I see and hear, if you don't get in with one of the big publishers, you will find sales more difficult.  Why?  Price.  Books published through smaller presses have a higher cost per unit than large publishers who can print and distribute in greater volume for a much lower per-unit cost.  And that, of course, translates into lower prices to the consumer. 

Let's face facts.  All things being equal, would you pay $10 or more for one paperback when you can get another for about $8?  How about $25+ for a hard cover when you can find another book in the same genre for about $20 or less? 

Enter the great equalizer - E-books.  Here is the one place where it seems like the little guy can beat the big presses on price.  For example.  I did a quick look at ebooks on Amazon and found books like John Scalzi's Zoe's Tale (a book definitely on my favorites list) for $7.99 Kindle and paperback.  Another favorite, Jack Campbell's Lost Fleet series - Book 6 is $7.99 paperback and $6.99 Kindle.  However, I've talked to writers who went through small presses and are selling E-books for $4 or 5.  Some even less, just to get their sales numbers up.  They probably don't make much money at those prices, but it's a good strategy to start developing a fan base.

Some will probably say that just using Kindle comparisons is not giving the whole story.  That's probably true, but from what I've seen most big presses aren't giving much discount, so it opens more doors for the little guys.

Interestingly today, I learned  that Harper Collins has discontinued their e-book store.  There seems to be no explanation why, but it definitely brings up questions about why.  Personally, I don't take this as a negative sign on E-books.  They're still growing in popularity and as more e-readers come out, more E-books will be sold.

Good luck and
Write On